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Forgiveness and how it impacts well-being

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From Bona

Forgiveness is choosing to let go of anger and resentment against yourself or someone else; it means giving up thoughts of revenge and moving forward with personal power intact. It is also a decision about what is best to do in life. So in this topic we will see how forgiveness affects well-being.

Years ago I was a victim of abuse and I was heartbroken. Many things happened one after the other that I couldn’t possibly tell anyone, not even my parents. I kept everything to myself and lived inside myself like in a prison. No one could have believed me even if I had spoken. I was in Africa then. The word abuse was not common. All I knew was that I was badly hurt emotionally and physically. I was broken and devastated. The abuse lasted for a while until I moved to another city for safety reasons. I wasn’t aware that this was carrying the pain inside me. I couldn’t take the shame, the pain I was going through.

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first thoughts

In the new city, I tried to forget what they had done to me, but thoughts of revenge kept coming back to me. I got so teary. I decided to shut it all up and not think about it and carried on as if nothing had happened, but it would be impossible to get rid of those thoughts. I started isolating and stopped eating. Negative feelings began to control me and I could even react abnormally to jokes from friends at work. They would have noticed my mood and demeanor changing. I lived in my own world.

So in Africa it was normal to abuse. Men had power over everything and even rape was not a problem. A victim cannot say that someone raped her. Nobody spoke about it. So I kept myself fast and no one to talk to without the person revealing it to someone. It was like my world came crashing down when I got low self esteem. I have carried this weight of abuse for many years. I later traveled to the UK to continue my studies.

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One day a friend invited me to attend a conference on some issues that affect people. Among the topics they talked about forgiveness. I found out about it. During the conference I made the decision to forgive the people who hurt me. Lack of forgiveness is self-poisoning. It creates unhealthy relationships anxiety, depression and anger.

At the end of the show, I decided to approach a member of the team on the high table to talk to her. I opened up to her and she told me that choosing to forgive would change my life for the best because I would be free. The fact that I chose to forgive made an immediate difference to me. We exchanged numbers to keep in touch and I went home. She told me this in a text message, “Remember that when you forgive, two things happen: you set yourself free and you set the other person who hurt you free.” I forgave every day on my list and I felt peace and the feelings of revenge left me.

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Forgiveness is choosing to let go of anger and resentment against yourself or someone else; it means giving up thoughts of revenge and moving forward with personal power intact. It is also a decision about what is best to do in life. So in this topic we will see how forgiveness affects well-being.

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It’s important to realize that forgiveness affects well-being in the sense that the benefits it brings are amazing. People who choose to forgive are changed for the better. They are happier to see that they are only moving forward and up. You are at peace with yourself and others. You communicate well and confidently. I was there and no one could believe what I went through if I didn’t tell them.

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I wouldn’t have become who I am today if I hadn’t spoken up. I am a different person and my life continues to shine and glow because of the choices I made for myself. I became the one who told people my story so others could see that if they make a decision, things can change. I will not stop writing and speaking about forgiveness because of the impact on society.

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As a Christian, I now become the voice for those going through similar situations by sharing what I have achieved through forgiveness.

waste of time

Forgiveness is actually linked to mental and physical health outcomes and can greatly improve them. The evidence of my experience could show how I went from being a heartbroken woman to a transformed woman who is now at peace. I went from stress, anxiety, toxic anger, lack of sleep, anxiety and muscle stiffness to an energetic, relaxed, happy and beautiful woman full of confidence. Let’s forgive and forget to reach out to others. We must not remain silent.

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These are mental health problems and therefore have serious consequences for humans. I knew it was time to forgive to move on and grow. I made a choice as I couldn’t keep poisoning myself.

forgiveness

Forgiveness is vital to the mental health of those who have been hurt. When we forgive, it lifts spirits, increases optimism and protects against stress, anxiety, anger, depression. Forgiveness can also reduce the risk of heart attacks, improve sleep, reduce pain and blood pressure. It can even lead to understanding empathy and compassion for whoever hurt you. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you move on with life.

advantages

There are tremendous rewards to your health as forgiveness restores positive thoughts, feelings and behavior and encompasses peace, hope, gratitude and joy. It can put someone on the path of physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

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It’s important to realize that forgiveness affects well-being in the sense that the benefits it brings are amazing. People who choose to forgive are changed for the better. They are happier to see that they are only moving forward and up. You are at peace with yourself and others. You communicate well and confidently. I was there and no one could believe what I went through if I didn’t tell them.

I wouldn’t have become who I am today if I hadn’t spoken up. I am a different person and my life continues to shine and glow because of the choices I made for myself. I became the one who told people my story so others could see that if they make a decision, things can change. I will not stop writing and speaking about forgiveness because of the impact on society.

proof

Forgiveness is actually linked to mental and physical health outcomes and can greatly improve them. The evidence of my experience could show how I went from being a heartbroken woman to a transformed woman who is now at peace. I went from stress, anxiety, toxic anger, lack of sleep, anxiety and muscle stiffness to an energetic, relaxed, happy and beautiful woman full of confidence. Let’s forgive and forget to reach out to others. We must not remain silent.

in summary

I won’t end this article without giving an example of how I helped a lady at my place of work who told me how her ex-husband broke her heart by sleeping with her cleaner, who later became his became a woman. She swore on her life not to forgive him. I continued to help her through the process of deciding to forgive her.

I told her my story and she couldn’t believe what I had gone through through such horrible things and still stood strong and beautiful. She couldn’t imagine my age. She was shocked at my transformation. I encouraged her to think about what she was going through with her children despite her divorce. After a few weeks, she made up her mind to forgive her husband. She told me that she was sleeping very well and that her appetite had changed. Speaking up to find a solution is also a therapy that heals internal wounds and pain.

Author Bio

Bona is a freelance writer who is very interested in this topic. Upcoming Author

Defying mental illness

Chuck and Zoe are the founders of Defying Mental Illness (DMI), a non-profit company. Guest bloggers have played a very enriching role in making this site a highly recognized site for mental health advocacy. To contribute a blog, please contact us.

Defying Mental Illness – Put a Full Stop is an organization with a mission to reach out to those dealing with mental health issues to not only help them brave the illness, but also end the stigma and discrimination put. Chuck and Zoe are often invited to speak on various platforms such as radio and television.

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