6 Ways To Respond When Things Don’t Go As Planned



Last update on November 24, 2022 : Published on November 24, 2022

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” – Marilyn Monroe

When things don’t go as planned and disappointment wells up in your heart, nothing can stop the dismay that overcomes you. It could be anything. Maybe the relationship you hoped was THE one has ended or maybe that dream job you wished for just didn’t materialize. Sometimes things happen and sometimes things don’t go the way you hoped.

However, you don’t have to feel rejected or dismayed! It is natural to have such a reaction, but it is also important that this reaction does not take root in your heart and mind.

While it can be difficult to get over the excitement and hurt feelings when things don’t go as planned, there are some quick ways you can learn to deal with the despair.

Here are 6 ways you can respond when things don’t go as you planned or hoped.

What to do when things don’t go as planned?

What’s done is done, you don’t have to worry about it too much. With these 6 ways you can calm your inner turmoil and ease the disappointment you’re feeling;

1. Acknowledge the emotions you are feeling

You’ve heard the phrase, “When life gives you lemons…” Well, it’s time you made a lemonade. Take the feelings and emotions as they come. Ignoring them will make you feel better, but only for a short time. The first step to relief disappointment is to accept that you are disappointed.

Many emotions can follow when things don’t go as planned, including anger, pain, frustration, and hopelessness. While it’s not easy to accept these feelings, once you acknowledge them, you can express them in any way you see fit.

2. Stay self-compassionate

Not every pain can be resolved within minutes. Sometimes when you’re upset, it can take time for that wound to heal, no matter the circumstances. In these times you must remember to stay self-pitying. Be kind to yourself because you will need all the kindness to process the pain.

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You have to remember that you made the best of what you had. It’s okay that things didn’t go the way you hoped, but still. You can also learn to manage insecurities to deal with such circumstances in the future.

3. Find a healthy emotional outlet

Everyone processes and expresses feelings differently. Talking helps some people, while others believe in more physical expressions of emotion. Whatever expression you choose, you need to find a healthy one emotional outlet. You can try journaling or talking to someone you trust.

Other things you can try are dancing, exercising, writing a letter, screaming into a pillow, or crying hard.

4. Find comfort in company

Another way to deal with disappointment when things don’t go as planned might be to find solace in the company of those you trust. Try consulting your support system and asking them for advice on how to deal with the pain and excitement you (or someone else) is feeling in these moments.

Knowing that others are also struggling with this will help you connect with them and learn how to deal with such feelings in a healthier way. Although you may or may not get the help you ask for, speaking out about your feelings will help you feel lighter.

5. Take responsibility

There are some things you just can’t control, and that includes things that don’t go as planned. In a way, it’s okay to acknowledge your actions and that they didn’t turn out the way you hoped. Mind you, this isn’t like blaming yourself for your disappointment. It takes responsibility for what you did or didn’t do.

Also read: “How do I take responsibility for my actions?” This is how you own up to your mistakes

It means accepting that there are some things that you might have done differently than you didn’t. It’s about learning from your mistakes.

6. Get professional help if needed

It will not help you think about what happened and will only prevent you from accepting the pain you are feeling. If your emotions are overwhelming and you are unable to go about your daily life, additional professional support may be needed.

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A therapist or counselor can help you deal with your feelings and teach you how to accept your mistakes. They can also help you reframe your situation, find peace, move forward, and even express your feelings in healthy ways.

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Here’s what NOT to do

As I said before, ignoring or running away from your emotions can do more harm than good. Instead of doing that, you need to accept the pain so you can move on without feeling guilty.

Here are some other things NOT to do when things don’t go as planned.

  • Don’t blame others (or yourself).
  • Don’t distract yourself from your emotions
  • Don’t interfere avoidance habits
  • Don’t overexert yourself
  • Don’t be alone with your troubling thoughts
  • Don’t engage in emotional drinking

When things don’t go as planned or hoped, it’s natural to feel frustrated, angry, guilty, sad, and upset. It might be annoying and cause anxiety if you allow such feelings to take over your mind and heart.

Using the above methods, you can learn to deal with those feelings that arise when things don’t go as planned.

I hope this article helped you understand what to do and what NOT to do in such situations. For more you can write to us at or DM us on social media.

You can also share your thoughts and tips with us in the comments section below.

If these tips worked for you, don’t forget to leave us a comment and share this article with your loved ones!

Watch after!

Next reading:

How can you turn your disappointments into your strengths? learn now

How to Let Go of Expectations (Why Does It Matter?)

Master Your Emotions: 9 Ways to Take Emotional Responsibility

“I’m Not Angry, I’m Disappointed”: Why Disappointment Hurts More (Tips To Overcome It)

About the author

Swarnakshi Sharma

Swarnakshi is a content writer at Calm Sage and believes in a healthier lifestyle for both mind and body. As a fighter and survivor of depression, she strives to reach and spread awareness to end the stigma surrounding mental health issues. A spiritual person at heart, he believes in destiny and the power of self. An avid reader and writer, she enjoys spending her free time baking and learning about world cultures.


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